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Happy new Year. We now have a new opportunity to respond within our environment wherever we may be. Last year’s page has lost its importance. Our new blank page is filled with opportunities, optimism and hope. Do you agree with me? Many of you do. Yet others have fear, unanswerable questions, and a ton of what ifs. This happens every year, right?

What can we do this year to make it a happier, more pleasant time? I have a suggestion which all of you will accept or reject.

Based on all that happened in 2023, what have you learned about yourself, about your friends, your family or support system? Do your friends still hold your same definition? Are there people that you can honestly say should come off of your true friends list? Why? How and when will you inform them of your decision? Are you ready to deal with any fallout that may result? Who will you allow to remain on your true friends list? Why did you choose them to remain there?

Can you imagine how free you can feel when you remove the clutter of non-meaningful relationships?

I would love to hear how these few thoughts may help you carve out your significance in 2024

Perhaps readers of this blog may offer meaningful helpful suggestions.

Let’s help each other out. Your suggestion may be just the supportive idea another reader may need.

Remember this month to celebrate life and everything good in your life.

Sometimes during this month, I take time to review past and current events of summer and fall as a comfort measure prior to our change of season.  Do you ever do that?  Some summers are enjoyed more than others.  This year summer was great.  The frequent walks by the lake, visits to family, warm breezy evenings, and not having to return home when the street lights went on.  Can you remember doing that?  I noticed how I forgot to appreciate those long cool evenings before those cooler evenings began. We did have ample enjoyable evenings.  Do you agree?  What memories have popped into your head while reading this? I am interested in hearing from you.  Did you enjoy ice cream often this summer?  I did not, but what I did recall was when Howard Johnson began offering 57 flavors of ice cream.  I had such a hard time choosing a flavor before Dad would run out of patience and would order vanilla for me.  It was perfect because   he chose it for me himself! I still order vanilla to this day. Is it due to my memory with Dad or just a preference?  Who knows?

I love reminiscing old times occasionally.  I can recall so many happy times and still smile as my memory works on.  Has my ruminating of the past or present stimulated any happy memories for you?  I would love to have you share them with me.  A few weeks ago, I actually met up with a friend from when we were 4 years old.  Over the years I had thought about her.  When we would play together, she always wanted to be the teacher, and I would like to play church.  Funny thing about this is that she did become a teacher and has retired.  For me, I still am still working in our Church!  The anticipation of meeting her was indescribable.  When we met we both smiled and expressed how we still looked as when we played together.  For me, that meeting was profound. Sure, the years have taken their physical toll on us but our memory was clear.  We enjoyed the time together and promised to keep in touch. Yes, our season has changed to colder temperatures but I can warm myself up by recalling happy times of days and years gone by.   I offer you this suggestion: Think of happy memories and feel the warmth come over you. Another suggestion is during a cool evening why not try to reconnect with an old “lost” friend.  If you connect, I believe you will start feeling warmer immediately.  Let me know!

In preparation for the upcoming Holidays, let’s take time to reconsider self-care ideas or implement old ones now.

I offer you thoughts for your consideration:

Initial Thought: I need to start the self-care I deserve.

Second Thought: Why do I deserve an action plan?

Third Thought: Anticipated barriers to implementing my plan.

Fourth Thought: When will I start my plan? Now, Next week, Undecided

Fifth Thought: Excuses for delay.

Sixth Thought: Let’s go onward and upward!

Seventh Thought: Are you with me? Yes or No

Eight Thought: Why or Why not?

Ninth Thought: What benefits of self-care do you practice or will you practice?

Final Thought: From here, what will you commit to for expanding your efforts?

If you answer these questions, you can determine if you’re ready to take control of your Holiday spirit.

Please share with me your experience of completing this exercise.

As we leave summer and look forward to (or not) the color changes of leaves, I would like to suggest considering making time to check in with your own needs for change.

Self-care options for free

Take time to:

• Break large goals down into segments
• Let something go
• Listen to the birds
• Don’t keep suffering
• Look at the rainbow (note its details)
• Be friendly to yourself
• Take weight off from your feet
• Love and be loved
• Read
• Relax
• Pray                                                               
• Find what makes you happy
• Practice mindfulness
• Plan a short trip
• Set boundaries
• Focus on living a healthy life style
• Help a charity
• Give yourself permission to accept yourself as you are
• Become friendly to yourself
• Say goodbye to anything not life giving for you
• Write yourself a love letter

Let me know which suggestion you take.

When was the last time you complemented yourself for doing anything? When was the last time you received a complement from anyone?  How did you feel when you heard it?  Could you accept the complement freely?  Did you feel you deserved the compliment?  Did the complement come from the heart and did they truly mean it?  Sincere complements can show kindness and support. They can demonstrate acknowledgement of someone’s effort and accomplishments, boost confidence, encourage skill-building for success. Think about it.

All day long and every day we spend time doing, saying, thinking, wishing for, exchanging thoughts, feelings, and emotions privately or through interaction.  We usually put our best efforts forward. Yet we seldom give ourselves or get complements from receivers.  Why is that? We know that complements can show appreciation for insight, positivity, flattery, contribution, and energy. Who doesn’t need to hear positive feedback? Compliments need to be genuine and specific.

 I think due to our busyness, we forget to take time to give compliments. Perhaps it can also be due to fear that the complement will not be conveyed as intended. However, I believe that complimenting someone can help put them in a better mood, receive acknowledgment of their effort. They feel noticed. This may then help set precedence for further complementing others. Try it, and see.

Now, I would like to return to my first sentence. What emotions got taped while reading it?  I believe that giving self-complements is as beneficial as receiving them.  It reminds you of how awesome you are.  It fuels motivation to do better. It can even help shrug off negative emotions that you may self-possess. I once heard that praising yourself is the recipe for self-confidence.  It is an ego booster. Giving yourself kind words can become part of your self-care routine.  Become your own source of happiness and positivity.

Why not take a minute to think of compliments you can begin giving yourself right now?

Suggestions:

I am brave

I am resilient

I am unique

Today I will celebrate me

I accept myself

Self, you are amazing

My spirit is strong

You can do it, try again

Job well done

Honestly, I believe that any time is perfect for introspection. Cool breezes on you face, warm sun on your arms and legs, lazy days can happen, laughter seems everywhere in July. While introspecting, we look at what has been, and then we eventually look at what can guide us into what is ahead.  When looking back at the past week, the past month, the past spring., we sometimes initially remember what has gone wrong.  Why is that?  I have no idea other than it’s a process we have learned. I believe that there is value in looking back but I have chosen another approach. I can spend a minute on a look-back and hours on projecting my future within myself, with family connections, friends, places to visit, books to read, all toward self-improvement. We can never go back to what was or the way we were. Early in life, I learned to set boundaries around myself; I kept world events, opinions of others, belief systems of others all outside of my boundary shield.

So often, I find myself in circles of peers, church goers, nurses, grandparents, who are so focused on the evils within our world, or fear losing anything else from the good old days.  So much of the past has never been under our control, but our personal future can be.  The values I learned in my home, from friends, teachers, role models are memories I love to look back on.  About the future for me, I plan to maintain my impermeable boundary, while remaining aware of issues of the day.  I decide on which ones are worthy of my attention or actions and will let all else just bounce off from my impermeable boundary shield. If you envisioned yourself in your protective shield, I need to tell you how free you could feel in it.  People would admire how calm you are, how much easier it is to be with you, your sleep could improve, you may begin healthier-eating and your experience of introspection could be enjoyable as well as rewarding.  Give it a try.  Be brave.

What does this topic bring to your mind?  I would love to read comments from you.