Summer is a perfect time to get rid of the past blues, thoughts, negative feelings and to feel the freedom you want. Let yourself feel the sun on your body, start using lighter weight jackets and sweaters. This all sounds good but it is not easy. Why is that? It is because old thoughts and feelings, no matter how destructive they are in our life are just easier to maintain than it is to junk them. Let us take a deep breath. Do you agree with me? Let us take another deep breath. Do you find yourself doing or requesting something over and over while expecting to get a different result? Why does that happen? For me it is because I may wish to wear down the listener, or because I just find it easier than attempting to seek an alternative. I don’t imagine that I am alone in my efforts but this month’s blog is more about raising consciousness about what I (we) do to get to an end. I need to then need to consider a different approach. One approach to consider can be to refocus on what is happening. What does transformation require? It requires a paradigm shift that directly impacts future experiences and decisions.
What are you interested in changing about yourself or your day right now? Give it some thought and then add your commitment to act. Whatever you choose, it requires a change in your perspective and meaning. It’s important to remember that even the smallest change can bring you closer to achieving your goal. Let’s have fun with this. What small change can you make right now? It can be in your closet, your weight, spending for non-essentials, a relationship you wish to change, your exercise commitment or something else. How will you know when you have truly committed to making the change? How will you feel when you experience even the smallest change? What will keep you motivated to complete the change?
Take note of the challenge(s) you encounter as you attempt even the smallest change. What will you do? Keep going or give up?
Remember, transformation is challenging but the price of benefit outweighs the negativity which you may encounter. Let’s spring forward!
Here are some things to try: Break large goals down into segments Let something go Listen to the birds Share your thoughts with our readers.
So often we just keep doing what we have always done. We make piles of work, mail, memos, bills labeled URGENT,ON- HOLD, SAVE and TRASH. We watch these piles grow rather than attack them one at a time. Frustration grows. The tasks just seem too massive to attack. We can’t even decide which pile to tackle first because stuff in the urgent file no longer feels urgent! What is going on? We tolerate this process unconsciously. We may be experiencing something like mental clutter which not only slows us down but drains our mental and physical energy. Have you found yourself in this situation once or twice?
What enabled/ motivated you to eventually act in the past? How about sharing your thought or solution with us? I am open to any solution you might have since mine are not helpful for decreasing my clutter. A time management idea I once read, suggested never putting a paper down from your hand after you read it without putting it into some form of action.
I once read another suggestion to put each piece of paper into one pile. This did not seem like a good suggestion to me. Later as I thought about it, I saw that by doing that each piece of paper was given equal status. What that suggestion did for me, is that it prompted me to find bills requiring quick payment, and keeping those on the top of the file, tied with a paper clip on the top of the pile and kept me working through the pile, after I paid those bills.
Another idea I read, labeled additional boxes TRASH and RECYCLE for completed work. Those labels helped my process because it separated throw away trash from recyclable. I love the thought of recycling so I became motivated to fill those boxes.
Further division was a box labeled ACTION to replace the URGENT box. That box gave me energy perhaps due to its newness and felt less office-like.
Hopefully, you can now take action and end toleration.
What have you learned about yourself from reading about this topic? Can you offer us any further suggestions? Just consider how you may help every reader of this blog.
If you sense that your stress is cause for your attention, it may be time to let your heart become your compass. Whatever you are noticing, is a wake- up call of a need for looking at what is happening within you. You can pause momentarily, put your hand on your heart, close your eyes and listen to what it is telling you. This takes practice and has immense benefit. You may later benefit from assessing your employment, or your relationships, or other aspects of your life as associated with your stress. Perhaps you need to focus on changing any stressful situation somehow. Implementing relaxation techniques could be used as soon as you become aware of your sense of stress. This may help you feel more grounded. Eventually you can to look at the effectiveness of your coping skills. Perhaps the development of additional coping skills could help. The urgency of the need to decrease stress is to decrease development of subsequent chronic medical conditions caused by chronic stress.
When you say you are stressed? How do you know that you are stressed?
Where do you feel the stress?
How do you relieve your feeling of stress?
What else can you do?
Think of a time you felt stressed?
What was going on before that moment?
When you think of how you handled that moment, what else could you have done to prevent/decrease the stress?
Having multiple solutions can be helpful since no solution works for everything or in all situations. You can always change your attitude about any situation.
Preparedness is helpful for being your own best friend. Be still and listen to your heart.
We often times get busy and realize that our days are flying by. We try to give ourselves a little time at the end of the day to reflect on what happened.
Option 1 We easily recall what went wrong throughout the day, we even think of things we could have said, should have said or even did not say. After those reflections we try to go to eventually sleep.
Do you then sleep restfully? Yes_ No_ Is guilt your primary emotion? Yes _No_
Option 2 A different approach to your daily look-back could be to only look for the good things that happened throughout the day.
Pile up those thoughts. Recall those many things you did that helped someone feel better somehow.
Think of those many kind words you gave, or those smiles you gave to onlookers as you passed each other in hallways, or on route to the car.
How about remembering those pleasantries that you received from others throughout your day?
Were some of those unanticipated?
Do you feel yourself smiling as you recall those happy moments of your day?
Do you agree that this option 2 approach to your daily-recall could help you sleep better, or even change your mood?
Is one of your life goals to be happy? Which approach to my daily- recall options as spell out above would help you reach your goal best? I assume you are choosing option 2
How and when do you plan to implement option 2 during your daily recall time? Feeling happy is a great goal to work on because the challenge to get negative comes to us so quickly without constant effort.
I would like to offer a couple of suggestions:
Stay connected only to people who offer positive thoughts, ideas, and solutions
Always keep bubbles at your bedside. When negative thoughts surface, take out the bubbles and imagine putting each of those negative thoughts into a bubble, when you blow, watch those thoughts dissipate and leave your mind. Imagine them all out of your head and are no longer a part of you.
Imagine all of the newly vacated space that is now open for positive thoughts. Let those thoughts flow into your mind.
Let me know what you think about all of this.
Only you can define your own success. Go for it! Feel the relief when you reach your goal consistently.
Are you at the point of thinking that all of this self-care talk might have a point to consider? No one wants to hurt one’s self. No one wants to learn that SOMETHING COULD HAVE BEEN DONE earlier and now it is too late. Your life would have been better either physically, spiritually, mentally, psychologically, educationally or otherwise if you had taken care of yourself better. Each day brings new opportunity and today can be your day to start taking better and conscious care of yourself. Self -care for yourself can mean consciously planning to do some simple actions throughout your day which can uplift your mood. Do you have anything in mind? Do you need some ideas? Here are a few suggestions to try:
Take a few minutes to recall a fun-family vacation you took in your youth. Laugh or at least feel yourself smiling again
slowly wash your face
Go brush your teeth
Put on lipstick
Do a deep breathing minute
Listen to calm.com for 15 seconds
Quietly just sit in a chair for 2 minutes, feel the back of the chair supporting your back. Enjoy!
How about sharing some of your ideas with our readers?
This statement can be overwhelming if given serious thought because we usually like to blame any influence beyond our self as cause for lack of success. Yet, we find it difficult to accept success when it happens because of the infrequency with which we feel it. Why is that?
The truth is who defines your success? You do! You may have experienced someone saying “good job”,
when you did not feel that you had just performed your best attempt at it and you could not accept the praise. This is a true example of knowing who defines success.
Let’s take a minute and recall a time that you did perform at your best and it was not appreciated or recognized. How did you feel then? The question is, did you allow someone else’s comment to change your thought orfeeling about your best performance? Why would you let that happen?
An important fact to remember is that you control your thoughts, feelings and emotions until you turn them over to the control of someone else.
Are you starting to see that your future depends on what you do in the present?
Take a minute to recall a time or two when such an experience happened?
What would/could you do now when faced with the same experience?
Would you then feel better worse or the same if you actually implemented this new control?
How about sharing some of your ideas with our readers?
Are you at the point of thinking that all of this self-care talk might have a point to consider? No one wants to hurt one’s self. No one wants to learn that SOMETHHING COULD HAVE BEEN DONE earlier and now it is too late. Your life would have been better either physically, spiritually, mentally, psychologically, educationally or otherwise if you had taken care of yourself better.
Each day brings new opportunity and today can be your day to start taking better and conscious care of yourself. Self -care for yourself can mean consciously planning to do some simple actions throughout your day which can uplift your mood. Do you have anything in mind? Do you need some ideas? Here are a few suggestions to try:
Take a few minutes to recall a fun-family vacation you took in your youth. Laugh or at least feel yourself smiling again
slowly wash your face
Go brush your teeth
Put on lipstick
Do a deep breathing minute
Listen to calm.com for 15 seconds
Quietly just sit in a chair for 2 minutes, feel the back of the chair supporting your back. Enjoy!
How about sharing some of your ideas with our readers?
This statement can be overwhelming if given serious thought because we usually like to blame any influence beyond our self as cause for lack of success. Yet, we find it difficult to accept success when it happens because of the infrequency with which we feel it. Why is that?
The truth is who defines your success? You do! You may have experienced someone saying “good job”,
when you did not feel that you had just performed your best attempt at it and you could not accept the praise. This is a true example of knowing who defines success.
Let’s take a minute and recall a time that you did perform at your best and it was not appreciated or recognized. How did you feel then? The question is, did you allow someone else’s comment to change your thought orfeeling about your best performance? Why would you let that happen?
An important fact to remember is that you control your thoughts, feelings and emotions until you turn them over to the control of someone else.
Are you starting to see that your future depends on what you do in the present?
Take a minute to recall a time or two when such an experience happened?
What would/could you do now when faced with the same experience?
Would you then feel better worse or the same if you actually implemented this new control?
How about sharing some of your ideas with our readers?
FINDING YOUR RIGHT RELATIONSHIP CAN NOT ONLY TRANSITION YOUR LIFE FROM GOOD TO GREAT IT CAN ALSO GO FROM TOLERATION TO HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY.
We all seek connection with persons who are supportive, honest, understanding, and life-giving. Some relationships we get involved with are not chosen but get imposed on us such as colleagues, family, and neighbors to name a few. What needs to happen so these relationships succeed, become tolerable and even enjoyable?
If you want to begin developing your relationship-happiness the answers to these questions might help:
What am I looking for in any relationship?
Am I looking for a long- term relationship?
Am I looking for a social connection only?
Why is seeking a relationship important to me now?
Where have I been looking?
Why am I not finding what I am looking for?
Am I ready to now look in right places?
How will I feel when I find the right relationship?
Am I ready to start a healthy search?
Will I let Ida join with me with this process now?
In the workplace
Working relationships are crucial during any employment. When stress develops, we must remedy the situation as quickly as possible
What is it about this relationship that creates stress?
Is the stress within me or between us?
How can I make this colleague or person(s) more acceptable to me?
What common ground can we share?
How can I comfortably address this issue?
Speak directly?
Learn how the other feels about our relationship?
Is there something specific that is affecting our communication?
Today we can take a few minutes to continue our self-care process by thinking about where you might be heading in the next week or longer? As we know that in order to go somewhere either physical, mentally, spiritually, we need to have a point of arrival. So often, responsibilities take us places we had not planned on going. We just drifted there. Can you tie into this?
What I wish to have us consider together is for you to provide your answers to where am I physically, mentally, spiritually going today? Who or what will be navigating you today? Of course, some situations determine some of our time and energy but what can you really control today? How do you plan to control events and situations that you will encounter today? Are you willing to control your time and self today? Why? Why not? Who will do it instead? Why?
For those energies which get spent out of our control, this is the time to face it and reflect on your attitude about those actions and situations. Originally, you agreed to something, you have been doing it and doing it well.
Scenario: You noticing that continuing to do an agreed upon commitment is causing you a bit of discomfort but you fear that if you reevaluate your decision that you already agreed on, but are now willing to cut down the frequency, or just become less available to continue, the receiver may get angry and or disappointed. Are you willing to face consequences if you make your reassessment of time or energy known? Why? Why not? Are you ready to offer alternative solutions prior to making your change?
Once again let us remember that we each control our own thoughts, feelings and emotions. You cannot control thoughts feelings or emotions of anyone else. This may be the time to begin navigating your true self.
Let’s help each other by sharing solutions any of us may have used successfully? Give those involved advanced notice of the change you wish to make. This can help decrease the feeling of abandonment.
Psychological distress as a health care worker is inevitable. It is not that we like it or seek it out, it just happens. Maintaining elevated stress levels affect every aspect of our being. Usually, we can’t prevent it from happening but what we can do for ourselves is to remember is that we can always change the effect it has on us. With selfcare we can begin to check in on ourselves more often and we can start to make the necessary changes quickly. Just ask yourself who controls my thoughts? Who controls my emotions? Who controls my feelings? If you answered I do to each question, you are correct. From here, the challenge begins. With no one to blame but self, responsibility can burst your bubble.
Questions you may ask yourself is:
Why do I give people my power over my thoughts? By giving up your power, you are setting up yourself for misunderstanding. Why is that? The truth is that no one can make you think anything. Your thoughts are only yours. No other person has had or will ever have your experiences as you have. The same goes for you emotions and feelings.
What can you do to relieve your stress?
Figuratively, step back and look at your thoughts, feelings, and emotions involved in the event . Asses their validity. Keep them, yet look at how additional thoughts could be more helpful. This can occur quickly. You have the answer within yourself already. Pick a thought, feeling or emotion that you wish to release. Then, take in a long deep breadth while counting to 5, hold in that breadth while counting to 4, then exhale slowly while counting to 6. While exhaling imagine stress exiting from your body. Feel the immediate relief. If you do that 3 times, you can feel energized again!
Other suggestions:
Recall those great outcomes that you achieve today
Count them
Take time to recognize them all
Each one has its meaning for you Acknowledge your limitation and be glad to have them. No one is great, perfect, etc. all the time.
